we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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