in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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