its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
