Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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