the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
