The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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