hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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