im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
