So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
