Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The adults are the big ones right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
