i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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