She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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