you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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