My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
