hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My penis needs a shock collar
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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