He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
