:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
