biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
