Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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