Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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