i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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