Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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