So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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