Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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