there was a trapeze. enough said
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
