so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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