Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
