Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well I just put wine in my tea
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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