Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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