The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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