Already got asked if we're dating
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
