I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
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Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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