Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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