everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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