I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
