just tell him i said nine months
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
