i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
