just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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