it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
