And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
