I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Randomize
