So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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