Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
