what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
