honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
