He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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