so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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