it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
