i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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