i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
