Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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