Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
