so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
