dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
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We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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