I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
