tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Houston, we have a squirter
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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