Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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