Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
