dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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