If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
