So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
