He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
