Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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