You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize