i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
