and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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