He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
