I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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