her vagina looked like bernie madoff
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
