Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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