college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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