I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
