Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
