dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
